there's this hard topic to try writing about - self-assessment. I used to think I had some talent with moving my pencil to capture an image. copied images; from photos or life or others' drawings.

this last weekend I saw a lot of skilled people's works. at an outing with them. my sketch was hardly visible, almost childish, not worth looking at, in comparison. since that day I've been turning the pages of my old sketchbooks, wondering if I never had anything.

how does one know? how can one tell?

was I lying to myself all these years? or am I trying to fit myself into the medium of others?

even now I do like my old sketches... and even some of my newer ones. is it just my outdoor stuff that's not good? or was it just this weekend?

how can one tell? esp. when friends and family feign appreciation. when one's own assessment is so biased.

the same in many ways, goes for my aspiring-academic work as well. and maybe also for my writings here, on this very blog.

like a friend used the words 'subjective' and 'objective' to describe academic criticism.

how does one tell?