I have ignored you, my blog. and I just read two lines of some memoir-like-writing that gave me a sudden strong pang of nostalgia for my own. life happened while I was away.

its creepy how signs and symbols exist in my life. an out of nowhere flashback comes, only as a precursor to another end. I kept telling myself not to wish for something. to fear the wish coming true. and here it is. no more the certainty that was making me complacent. here I go, all over again. wish I had made this choice rather than be blown again.

I wonder why everyone else is so worried about my lost job. guess, I really was expecting this, despite appearing not to, cos people didn't think it would happen. like the Hiccam's dictum, or maybe just the occam's razor. sometimes two opposites can describe a situation, cos you don't know which side you were on.

when I was younger, my friendships and niceness would wear off in a place with time, such that by the time it was time to leave I was more than relieved; almost dying to go. but the last few places I have left, I either never warmed up to them at all, or didn't want to leave. unlike all that, here, socially and personally, I was just warming up. professionally, I think I was gathering dust. but what now?