we won the trust vote. and i'v been jumping around the house, clapping my hands. and then they played the vande mataram in parliament. and mom reprimanded me for not knowing the lyrics beyond "vande mataram ...". anyway they are fighting now i think with the amount of noise coming into my room. long live indian politics. yipppppeeeeeeeee!!!

if either i'm rich or you are and you decide to stay with me, we will have a pond and a big bell

two days back i learnt these weren't lotuses (billi doesn't agree with the plural of the flower). but water lilies. my learning could be wrong but my world crashed at that minute. dont know why some of these things matter so much. as if my ecstasy on having seen so many lotuses at once in bloom, had been cheated. and they do seem to bloom in the night and close in again by noon (billi needs a mention here again. she was right). anyway the pink(ness) takes my breath away. especially in the night. with the dark leaves and glistening water for background. here i tried catching them early morning before getting into office. the sun is a little bright and someplaces the pink fades in its light...

I can’t put my finger on it. And i can’t describe it in words. And yet its there to calmly sadden me. Like a passing cloud blocking light. Stopping time. To slowly pour over me some little far away tragedy. Disconnected with me. Yet causing my eyes to brim over and my heart to want to weep. And then just loneliness remains. No one seems near enough. Not even the voice in the ear. And injustice is felt and hurts. and a vehement cry escapes, as silent as can be to you.

again

anticipation. creates ripples under my skin. stirs the waters of my soul. and prods lazing emotions. feelings that had reconciled to their incumbent nature. to their acceptance and to their eternity. that had lost their newness. suddenly seem green and smell of mornings. bringing with them the shiver down the spine. the smiling hug to myself.

nothing beats a nice house. a nice house with a small room all to you. and a must-have, an attached, even if little, bathroom. where the pot in the morning is just as you left it last night. the seat is exactly down or up as you prefer. and spotless and dry. so is the floor so you can amble around barefoot. with a small window that shows you the world while it cant see you crapping. and that gives you the morning light to read while doing your job. if i made bathrooms i'd install a waterproof bookshelf in each. and noone else to bathe after you and noone to bathe twice so to leave evrything dry the rest of the day. the room now, has got to have more than one large window and a small private balcony. and if there is ample distance between your nice house and the neighbours', even better. and no, the first floor is not the best. i prefer being higher, as high as possible. to feel like you are sitting on an island in the air, with your blue balcony curtain blowing and the outdoor green and grey peeping through these curtain movements. while the tirelessly talkative birds chirp on.

there's no better sunday than one in a nice house yours (for the time being). in my first few days here i had to make it rudely clear to the mynah couple that they couldnt take my bathroom window for a house. i hadn't imagined those little birds could be so fearless when it came to protecting their (under construction) home. instead of flying off at the littlest tap from the inside of the window the bird kept pecking in at the gap in the open net to figure the source of the effort at their eviction. so bold that i got goosebumps. and after the last twig and dried strand of grass had fallen, i saw them staring at the wreck in anger and disbelief. i felt so devilish and mean and guilty. now they happily and noisily reside in the (unoccupied) bathroom wondow opposite mine. even now my fight for occupation continues as a small hive outside my big window slowly usurps space as the yellow winged things weave it. and yet i smile when opening my window in the morning as the cool air touches my face, relishing it while i can.

while i'm all for not cutting trees, i go bonkers over great wood furniture. i have this fetish for deep dark wooden brown with lighter shades colouring the edges of the depths, and providing the base for those numerous veins and lines to show. contrast it with some bright yellowish cane. put everything else out of reach out of sight. and out of the dust. just let the furniture show bare and clothed in their own colour. yeah maybe with just a sheet on the bed, curtains and bright soft cushions from fabindia!