I had an epiphany in a bout of possibly perimenopausal insomnia, brought on by my husband's anxious mind's possibly disturbing dreams and his resulting tossing and turning around in bed last night (his meds have been tuned down a bit). 

Idealism, living by what one thinks are important values, is my top value. I seek and try to inculcate this in myself, and am hugely attracted by it, and also supremely repelled by its opposite when I witness it. My ideals have changed as I have aged though. Sexual fidelity has been examined and found wanting, and has been appropriately replaced with honesty. But also with something akin to being true to some deep self, acknowledging what one truly wants and needs sans hypocrisy, and this implies ceasing to deny our bodies and souls. As Blake repeatedly stressed, body and soul are not different things, and there is no exaltation of the latter from abstinence of the former. 

For this time and place in my life, it means I need to stop burning bridges to kindred souls when I find them, I need to stop running away and turning my back on them. And start taking steps toward the light that sparks when we touch. Its the very least, before our short lives end.