Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
man, woman, eat, drink
there is some (one) logic behind the desi arranged-marriage concept.
years ago i told a friend my theory that two people had to have common languages and culture in order to feel an intimate togetherness. in order to relate with common memories, in order to commonly feel and understand on the same scale. such that each knows the other understands (almost) just as well as oneself and that the other knows this and so on... (at least most of the stuff communicated most of the time). something like the common knowledge assumption of game theory. its important for a relaxed and take-understanding-for-granted strategy required in a relationship that outlives chemical and sexual introductions.
and although the greater the commonality of experience in both lives, the richer the present and future sharing will be, commonality is (obviously) not a sufficient condition for compatibility. chemistry and sex are just as necessary.
probably that's why desis have a greater range of compatibility with the world than say the chopsticks people (for lack of a better non-racist term). its either the comfort with the English language (or whatever) that makes us more aware of, and connected with the world, arming us with a larger bag of common goodies. unlike the chopsticks armed who have lived in their closed world and if you are from beyond that, you are alien to them (although they are way more western than us in their clothing).
no wonder a political psychologist I met some months ago was of the opinion that because of the adverse sex ratio in China and the influx of Chinese students in the US, Chinese men students come here looking for Chinese women.
years ago i told a friend my theory that two people had to have common languages and culture in order to feel an intimate togetherness. in order to relate with common memories, in order to commonly feel and understand on the same scale. such that each knows the other understands (almost) just as well as oneself and that the other knows this and so on... (at least most of the stuff communicated most of the time). something like the common knowledge assumption of game theory. its important for a relaxed and take-understanding-for-granted strategy required in a relationship that outlives chemical and sexual introductions.
and although the greater the commonality of experience in both lives, the richer the present and future sharing will be, commonality is (obviously) not a sufficient condition for compatibility. chemistry and sex are just as necessary.
probably that's why desis have a greater range of compatibility with the world than say the chopsticks people (for lack of a better non-racist term). its either the comfort with the English language (or whatever) that makes us more aware of, and connected with the world, arming us with a larger bag of common goodies. unlike the chopsticks armed who have lived in their closed world and if you are from beyond that, you are alien to them (although they are way more western than us in their clothing).
no wonder a political psychologist I met some months ago was of the opinion that because of the adverse sex ratio in China and the influx of Chinese students in the US, Chinese men students come here looking for Chinese women.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
starry eyed
and I am still fighting. and so far I have won. but I will keep fighting... everyone and everything that demands from me a submission and a defeatist acceptance of an un-romantic world. of the giving up of my freedom, of my fairy tales, and of my ideas of perfection, of non-compromise.
I'll do the black swan too, but only when its perfect. and till the everlasting "happily ever after", life will always find me armed against the in-between
I'll do the black swan too, but only when its perfect. and till the everlasting "happily ever after", life will always find me armed against the in-between
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