there are people you think you would have fallen in love with, had something not happened. and when you want to talk to them, you wonder if they knew this. if they thought that you have actually fallen for them even though that something did happen. and there are people who think this about you.
and then sometimes something else happens and you realise why you did not fall for him/her. then you realise that it wasnt that something that stopped it but this something that never showed up then, which if it had right in the beginning you would never have included him/her in the list of those-not-fallen-for-but-could-have, no matter how much you still think of him/her.
phew! eased me out. the best way to enjoy the purgative quality of writing when you are no longer anonymous.
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