from now on, in family gatherings I should talk less and write what they are talking instead. I'll call it the ludicrous journal cos they do say such ludicrous things. so far I tried to argue, tried to get them to see sense, to rationalize what they were saying and what their words implied. but I only agitate myself, and it gives them pleasure - to see my logic be frustrated because they simply deny it. and they continue to bait me in this, cos it is a source of entertainment for them.

I have sometimes ignored it, sometimes zoned off, sometimes categorically refused to engage in their futile conversation.

today for the first time I tried Lockwood's tactic - of giving them more of what they desire to such an extreme so as to expose their ludicrousness. the journal is yet another of hers I plan on emulating.

today this is what happened.

background: my mother in law knows I don't share her laughs on the issue of sexually abused women (or people as I like to think) coming out with their stories after many many years. she finds it funny, both the issue itself and that it angers me that she finds it funny.

so today she forwarded some 'joke' poking fun at accusations of sexual assault after years of the episode having occurred. where else? but on whatsapp. I don't read whatsapp forwards, so I didn't read this one. it was however followed by a message addressed to me, in the family group (my dad in law, her, hubby, his brother and sis in law, and me), saying exactly the following:

"__, apologies but there is a lighter side to serious issues. Has taken me courage to forward it on ___ (this group)."

it made me glance at the forward before it. I still did not read it through but caught the words: Jill .. Jack ... sexually assaulted her ... 102 years ago ... ... and laughter emojis.

My reply:

"Mummy you have freedom of speech and I have freedom to not read whatsapp fwds. but haan try and read 'rape joke'. By Patricia Lockwood. she was raped by her bf when she was a teen."

Mummy: "Yes - we live in a free world. What you refer to is certainly not humour. But this bit of not having courage earlier, in the me too movement by so many does amaze."

me: "Do not doubt Lockwood's humor."

Mummy did not reply. nor I believe did she look for and read 'rape joke'. but you my reader must, its quite something.


aside: its actually funny how people who laugh at rape and sexual abuse and victims' 'courage', cannot even grant victims the right to laugh at these very ideas themselves.