okay, buckle up. its time to get some discipline in life and finally grow up. somehow it took this month of travel back in amreeka for this to dawn on me, and not the whole of the year gone by in which it now seems I've aged a million years.

this really needs putting down on paper.

I recently turned 36 (I often forget what age I am, not because I'm already suffering from a degenerative mind but because the calculation of years doesn't agree with my intuitive feeling of age and therefore I often let my mind mislead me. in that too, I'm not special), and hubby and me have been traveling for almost 3 weeks now, combining summer work and visiting family and hiking and driving and all the things we miss in the place we now live. as a result, for the first time in 36 years I had the feeling of being homeless: I said bye to him cause we were flying to different destinations out of different terminals at the airport today, and I worked my way to my gate. on getting there I sat down to adjust and pocket all important things in my hands and well just to think about how to spend the next few hours of waiting. and as soon as my bum touched the seat, I felt a lil afraid, a lil lost, a lil lonely. of course I blamed the desi lifestyle for it, the getting used to having people around you all the time such that one cannot spend time alone at all. but then it wasn't just loneliness; I am now a lil also fatigued and as with any longterm travel I suddenly yearned to go home. that was soon followed by a questioning - where is home? I don't know. for the first time in my life there is no place I think of when I yearn to go home, and its not because I'm transitioning or 'shifting' or 'moving' from one home to another.

I wasn't alone in this apparently. he kept forgetting and thinking that he was flying back home, to DC, and had to keep reminding himself that he wasn't.