its been difficult finding time to blog in the midst of moving to a new city, starting a new job, getting a new car (plus a new driving license), and learning how to live a non-student, grown-up life. but for a long time this idea had been buzzing around my head and I wanted to write it down to express myself and fully hear it out.
you know, when you talk to someone on the phone a number of times, or you exchange emails, such that unconsciously you construct a picture of them in your mind, unknowingly and innocently. something in the tone of their voice, the weight of it, the speed of it, the alertness in their responses, the way they use exclamation marks or not in their emails, the way they get what you're saying or not, the ease with which you can reach them or not, all of this translates in some uncontrollable formula into a mind-image. sometimes this mind-image even accommodates for the little profile pic of theirs that you've been looking at while talking to them, and yet often it blurs this little piece of reality and superimposes it with an idea of a face, of a personality, of a person.
to give a background, I got this job without meeting anyone in this place in person. yes, I saw that little pic on the webpage of the department chair who spoke to me on the phone the very first time. but despite seemingly knowing his face from that picture I did not recognize him when I faced him until he introduced himself. and then my surprise! the face looked like the picture and yet didn't. his face was much keener and more enthusiastic, and yet he was much less suspicious and laid-back than that face in my mind for him.
the woman who had been coordinating with me on my papers, let's call her B, I almost though I knew her. I expected to see someone middle aged and very average like in stature and otherwise with dark hair and maybe some glasses. the day I first walked into her office I was surprised to see a whale of a smiling woman, much sharper than I had expected and with a quick sense of humor that I had completely missed so far and that almost shocked me. and it wasn't just me. my size surprised her too, and involuntarily she laughed "are you 12 or something?".
the real estate agents I had been talking to on the phone. the first with one of those profile pics on gmail, who yet turned out to surprise me with her height and her agility but more than that with her eyes that looked me up and down not once but over and over again. guess, she was also comparing me with the mind-image in her head and with my dressed-for-an-occasion, google profile image.
the best was, this other agent who I could never get through to, on the phone. her mind-image is still in my head - an old woman with silvery hair, with glasses probably, and a slow manner. she turned out to be oldish yes, but tiny (smaller than me), cheerful, blonde, and very friendly. and she too was surprised, and said aloud "you are such a cute little thing".
I wonder if I dressed up the images in my mind cos I was surprised with the colors and shapes of some of their clothing.
and I wonder if I will ever learn from experience and some day not be at all surprised when I meet someone after a considerable no-face acquaintance.
