corridors of sun-flies

its rare that we notice strange patterns in the behavior of little inconsequential winged insects. some days ago i heard this TED talk about how this random normal bird-lover living in Maldives noticed year after year the sudden swarm of dragonflies flying at a particular time of the year. and by questioning that he discovered the globetrotter dragonflies that fly back and forth the Arabian Sea with the monsoon winds.

as one thing leads to another, since then i've been noticing these really tiny flying things that i now like to call sun-flies. i notice these insects everyday in the hours of the sun swarming around in large gangs flying almost like electrons in a given cloud of space. they don't ever fly out of the limits of these cloud-like spaces despite a continuous flurry of wings and movement within. its amazing to watch one of these clouds, dynamic within and static in its spatial relationship with the outside. and each of these clouds surprisingly, is located exactly at the same spot at exactly the level of my face, every single day. not just that, each of these clouds is always basking in the sun and is in the middle of a pedestrian cemented path. such that i am always walking into these. and if that's not amazing enough, each of these swarms always covers half the air-width of the footpath, almost consciously leaving space for a human head to pass neighborly-by without scissoring the cloud. and yet if i am not mindful of them, my head walks straight into the cloud. and this, when the entire width of the path is equally sunny.

anyone else seen them??

being a woman feels special. in a self-treasured way. in a soft, cradled, pampered way. and i see that reflected in women from all over the world. its extra delicate in the east though. what does it mean to be a woman? its like having a universe of naive, vulnerable, innocent beauty within oneself. something that can be destroyed with the least intent. something that can be inspired with the least intent. the potential for the most gentle, the most valiant, the most loving of all human expressions. or the most vicious, the most dangerous, the most cruel...

I claim to have found the cause of the decline of America. the youth, the typical undergrads!!! if adult America is made up of this material then its no wonder that nothing is moving right. and if I am right, then the decline has only just begun because all these obnoxious 20-somethings have still to grow up into adults and worsen the prophetic trajectory...

and you can't really blame them. most of the youth of America are full of some snobbish superiority. of being American, of having their parents splurge money, of having more than they ever felt the need for. of never being answerable to anyone. of never failing. of never knowing that they were wrong. that they are wrong, in how they view the world below themselves. in how they refuse to budge their asses.

there's something else. Americans have this misconception that competition in this country is the toughest in the world, and they extend that to college competition among undergrads. how it makes me pitifully shake my head because these immature kids cannot even comprehend what tough competition means. for them to have been born in this country implies they are the best. and they want to be rewarded for it every now and then without them bothering to shed a drop of sweat. "sweat? that's dirty, that's for the underdeveloped world. we are the born-with-silver-spoons-in our mouths. S&P has no right to downgrade us! we are golden kids because we are Americans. and so far that's all we are. American spoilt-brats whose parents have money. who cares for when they don't. there's always credit. we are the champions. even if all we do is recognize this fact and eat & watch TV and grow tires of flab. as for college, professors are paid to give us 'A's. deadlines, what are those? deadlines are supposed to adjust after us. failure, that's impossible. grades are supposed to curve keeping us at the top. we all deserve 'A's. don't you get it?".

don't you get it? I pity their parents, for when they were like them, and for now.

i like Fall much better than Spring, especially here, where dying leaves far overshadow flowers in their variety and color. the Fall sky asserts its blue-ness so strongly, the air turns to a reminder of winter, and the sun drips honey onto your skin and is all sweetness and yummy-ness.

Spring in Dallas has a weak character. in the beginning its like a shadow of the gone winter. and then even before it has realized its newness, it bursts in a heated self-implosion into the all consuming summer.

Fall on the other hand melts slowly, deliciously into the barrenness and snow of the next season...